


Safe

by SoMilkShake



Category: SKAM (Spain)
Genre: 100 percent fluff as always, F/F, I mention BPD at some point, but there's no angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:47:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27253648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoMilkShake/pseuds/SoMilkShake
Summary: So… a fic about Cris returning from the trip and Joana talking about her past... what else do we need?
Relationships: Joana Bianchi Acosta/Cristina "Cris" Soto Peña
Comments: 7
Kudos: 50





	Safe

**Author's Note:**

> I received two ideas on my tumblr somilkyshaky:
> 
> “First of all I want to tell you that I love your fics with all my heart and I think that you are really good at understanding their personalities. I think it would be interesting to have a fic about Joana talking to Cris about what happened to with her friends (the ones that gave her the neckless) and her ex gf. Btw thank you for writing such beautiful fics!”
> 
> “1. They talk about their scars/tattoos/birthmarks. Cris for example has scars from drunk idiot things. Joana from her adventures, stuff like the pool. Also Irene’s weird pizza tattoo and Rizhas many, just in form of their characters  
> 2\. Joana formally meeting Cris mom as her girlfriend.  
> 3\. Cris returning home from the trip  
> Idk I’m bored so I made up a list. Hope it can be used »  
> (I’m not doing the 1 and 2, sorry!)

Sunday, 2h36

Joana sits up in her bed for the fifth time tonight. She slept all day _without_ _Cris_ after yesterday’s party. The blonde accompanied her back home around 9am before leaving to find the other girls to go at Amira’s and take their plane.

_“I wish I could go with you…”_

_“I’ll be all yours tomorrow when I came back, okay…?”_ she said, leaving one last tender kiss on the corner of Joana’s mouth.

But _tomorrow_ is still so far away; and now the feeling of Cris’ lips against hers, her hands holding her body, or even her fingertips stroking her face already starts to fade. No, it always starts to fade the second Cris is out of sight.

Joana slowly brings her hands to her face, covering her eyes, before pressing her palms hard against them and then against her forehead. The raven-haired girl stands up and starts walking in circles in this _so_ _small_ room, as her shoulders rise higher and faster at each breath.

She then drops her arms by her sides to rest her hands on her waist before rising her head to the ceiling, as if she was underwater, trying to reach a nonexistent surface. Joana lets out a deep breath, or at least, she tries; because right now, she only gasps loudly with a sob; trapped in her dark and messy room. 

“Calm down. She’ll come back to you. She always does. No plane crash, no parents to say no, nothing can go wrong.” she murmurs to herself with closed eyes, joining her hands together near her mouth as she bites her thumbnails. “You will see her in less than 12 hours; you can do it.” she continues, deeply inhaling through the nose.

The raven-haired girl feels her night table to find her phone, before sitting at her desk. She opens Instagram and goes through the girls’ accounts. Not that she already looked at every picture a thousand times, especially the ones with her girlfriend; but she just can’t help but smile at her friends being happy all together. Even if she isn’t there, she’s glad just to see them smiley _but, yeah, also tired as fuck,_ _let’s be honest_.

She stops on Nora’s account and smiles again at yesterday’s picture of Cris, Nora, Alejandro and her.

“ _Couple goals!_ ” had exclaimed Cris and Nora, laughing like idiot as they were looking at the screen, while Joana and Alejandro were just smitten over their girlfriends’ smiles.

She then takes one last look at the picture of the five girls in the van, and an idea crosses her mind. The raven-haired girl turns on the light of her desk and grabs some of her art supplies.

What a better remedy for insomnia than to draw wonderful smiles?

\--

Sunday, 13h45

Joana is finishing to pack her bag to meet Cris at hers, as her mother interrupts her thoughts.

“You already checked your bag 84 times; I don’t think you forgot anything.” she teasingly admits, startling her daughter. She’s leaning at the door, her arms crossed as she tenderly smiles at the raven-haired girl.

She smiles back at her mother, who allowed her at last night’s dinner to spend some days at Cris’. The couple hasn’t spent a night together for two months now; how to say that it was a relief for Joana to be able to send a positive answer to her girlfriend.

“Joana!” yells her father, as the two women hear him climbing the stairs. “Do you want me to drive you at Cris’?” he asks in a hurry and a little out of breath with his head through the door, waiting for an answer.

“Um… no, don’t worry, I’ll just go by foot. I need to walk.” she affirms with a small and polite smile, putting her bag over her right shoulder.

“Oh… I--okay…” he stammers, a little disappointed, before approaching his daughter to leave a kiss on her forehead. “I guess that’s how I won’t see my daughter for a week again.” he jokes, as a heavy silence and a strange atmosphere fill the room.

“I should go, it won’t take long before they come back from the airport.” admits Joana, trying her best to look at her parents in the eyes. Her mother softly smiles at her, but her eyes betray her, _as always_ , some worry finds its way out while she strokes her daughter’s hair to put them behind her ear.

\---

Sunday, 14h17

[Joana, 14h09] I’m coming!!!

[Joana, 14h11] fuck

[Joana, 14h11] that damn metro stopped

[Joana, 14h11] AGAIN

[Joana, 14h15] finally got out of the station

Amira left Cris at the last message, and now the blonde is waiting in the street, barely able to stand because of the tiredness of the last two days- _well nights- well, it doesn’t matter_ since she hasn’t slept anyway.

Joana finally shows up at the end of the street and all her pain disappears in the blink of an eye; in fact, both girls can’t help but smile brightly at the sight of the other. The raven-haired girl walks a little faster as she gets closer from her girlfriend, before dropping her bag to hug her tightly.

Cris lets out a little squeal, before kissing Joana’s cheek.

“Someone missed me.” she jokes, rubbing her girlfriend’s back, who chuckles in her neck. That’s when the couple hears a low but loud growling noise, which make them burst out laughing. “Sorry, sorry, I’m just starving right now.” admits Cris, embarrassed with her cheeks burning, as she swiftly waves her hand.

“Let’s go buy something.” affirms her girlfriend, putting a strand of blonde hair behind her ear with a tender smile.

\--

Sunday, 15h29

It took Cris _four minutes_ to fall asleep in her girlfriend’s arms. They were talking about last night’s sunset and the conversation with the girls, when she started to answer with light hums and stopped rubbing Joana’s hand with her thumb. 

It’s not that unusual for her to fall asleep quickly when they’re lying together on a couch or a bed; _and damn_ , how much the raven-haired girl missed this kind of moment. Just being able to be alone with her girlfriend; being able to let her fingers wander on her arm, and then her back, and then her neck, to finally calmly stroke her hair; or just being able to memorize every of her features, that change with time, _a little_ ; each day is different, and after a year, she sees how much her girlfriend grew, and matured.

Joana brings her hand near the blonde’s cheek, but stops herself for a second. _Should I wake her up…?_ Cris won’t be able to sleep this night, not that it bothers the raven-haired girl, in any way, she surely won’t sleep either with her girlfriend next to her, too occupied to look at her, or stroke each part of her body, or even draw her the entire night. It’s been _too long_ to waste her time sleeping while she could just stay awake and enjoy her girlfriend’s company. So, no, Joana moves her hand a little higher and continues to slowly stroke the blonde's hair, synching her breath with her as she stares at her small _-adorable-_ smile forming on her lips.

\--

Monday, 10h54

“I swear, the cocktails were amazing, I asked the barman the recipes, we HAVE to try them!”

Joana is leaning her elbow on the breakfast table with her fist against her cheek, watching her girlfriend cheerfully telling her all the anecdotes of her small trip. However, her brain can’t help but focus on complete other things, for example, the fact that the blonde’s left arm brushes a little too often past her mug which threatens to fall at any moment; or the fact that some of her sunburns already start peeling and that more than shy freckles showed up on her shoulders; or maybe even the fact that her eyelashes seem so wild this morning. And now that she noticed all those tiny details, she can finally picture what changed on her girlfriend’s face; there’s a new expression, or at least not new but… Joana _rediscovers_ it. Something seemed extinguished for too long and it feels like it’s finally enlightening the blonde’s face again. Everything seems _brighter_ about her. The raven-haired girl knew that Cris was at odds with Amira, Dani and as usual with her parents lately, but she never thought it would affect her girlfriend to the point that she would lose some of her usual… _sheer energy_.

“Joana…?” asks Cris with a confused frown but also a thoughtful smile, gently playing with the raven-haired girl’s knuckles. Her girlfriend only hums in answer, looking at her right in the eyes with her warm chocolate pupils and a smile full of bliss. “You weren’t listening to me anymore, huh?” continues the blonde with a light giggle.

“Not at all, sorry.” replies Joana with the same smile, chuckling.

“I was telling you that the girls asked about the story behind your necklace, and then I told them that it was your friends who stole it for you- but… um… then we asked ourselves, who were those friends? Like… you never really talked about them so…” hesitantly explains the blonde, gradually having a hard time to find her words, as she messily starts to nervously move her upper body.

“You’re wondering if I could tell you a little more about them?” continues Joana with supportive eyes.

“If you’re alright with sharing it, of course.”

“Um… It was the group of friends I had during ESO; my ex-girlfriend was part of this group but when we broke up, the entire group separated in two small groups. It was… intense weeks to be honest. As I told you… I wasn’t diagnosed yet, but things were already _strange_ for me at the time. A month or two later, I was diagnosed and it was like the end of the world to me. We finally knew what was… _wrong_ with me, so it was half a relief for my parents, but now I had to live with an illness that I didn’t choose and which was messing with my mind all the time. It only made me even angrier than I already was. I had to go to the hospital, I had to meet so many doctors and I just had to start living with all of this, and I didn’t want that. So… when the girls asked me that day to go out and just chill, I was… anxious? Like- I didn’t want them to know, I didn’t want to have to explain something I didn’t even understand- but… that day they were like the sweetest girls on earth, they felt something was wrong and they just tried to be a safe place for me, and just the fact that they stole that necklace meant so much to me. Finally having a laugh after 3 weeks of hell was making me want to cry.” explains the raven-haired girl, letting the words flow out of her, not really trying to filter anything; while Cris was thoughtfully listening to her, stroking her hands from time to time and giving her some supportive smiles when needed.

“And… what happened…? You’re not in touch anymore, right…?”

“I fucked up.” starts Joana, but she needs some time to breathe out deeply, staring at her hands, before speaking again. “As you know, I repeated my 4th year of ESO, because the end of the school year was a complete mess- like this year to be honest- because the girls started to pick up that I was more and more angry, or unstable, or anxious. I was thinking that they were all the time talking behind my back, or that I couldn’t trust them anymore, and one day we had a big- no, _huge_ fight when I had an anger outburst; I clearly wasn’t nice with them and… obviously they just never wanted to talk with me again and at that time I didn’t want to even see them again, so… yeah, I just spent that summer completely alone and repeated a year in a different school since the director didn’t want me anymore after that argument.” she explains with more of her usual nervous gestures, avoiding Cris’ gaze and sometimes having a hard time continuing to speak.

“Hey…” murmurs her girlfriend, stroking her forearms, before standing up and wrapping her arms around Joana’s shoulders. “I’m sorry…”

“It’s alright- I moved on and now… sometimes I really feel like I can trust our entire group.” admits the raven-haired girl against Cris’ body, as she holds her tighter.

“Of course, you’re safe with us.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> I know it could be a little longer, with more fluff, but i challenged myself to only write it in one afternoon so... here it is.


End file.
